An Evolution Worshipper’s Ode!

January 6, 2010 By Lu Paradise

Oh Holy Evolution! Our powerful God!

Thou art our evolver! Thou hast evolved us over billions of years. Slow art thou! Help us to be like thee. Slow but sure. Thy work is unobserved by us mortals, so slow is it. So slow, that the wicked refute that thou livest! But how can the wicked say that thou livest not? For behold, thou hast evolved us all. Even the wicked who do not see the lenght of time that thou needest.

Thou verily art a time consuming God! Thou movest slower than the clock. Thy increments, thy mutations, the movement of the genes, thou hidest in billions of years. Thou art the slowest of them all. Have the wicked no patience?–To detect the traces of thy movements, o Holy Evolution?


We believe, because we see thy missing links, though we detect them not. Thy missing links are like thy footprints in the sands of time, washed out by the waves of aeons. We who believe can see them yet! How else were the species evolved, but from one another? How dense are the wicked who refuse to see thy minutest mutations by faith! Though we observe them not, we know that thou workest and evolvest forever. Oh Holy Evolver. Though we change not in a generation, thou evolvest forever. Thou art like thy evolution, evolving forever! Like the waves of the sea that cannot rest. One aeon a monkey, the next aeon a man.

Oh evolver, what art thou now? Will we ever see thy changing substance? Thou art as invisible as the false God of creation. Yet they are not, while thou surely livest! Thou evolvest naturally, with no need of a plan. Thou schemest not! Thou heedest no design. Thy flagellum rotary motors, eyeballs, and bombardier beetles are here today, and mutated away tomorrow.

The wicked say, “Where is His plan?” They are dense and understand not that thou art not confined to plans. Oh thou who designest not, how wonderful are thy ways. Like the waves of the ocean thou canst not rest. Thou who mutatest forever, thou designest not. Thou art a blind Evolver! Thou knowest not what thou doest. And it is marvellous in our eyes. Thou art altogether ignorant. Thou art no narcissist, for behold thou perceivest not. Thou who evolvest eyes, yet thou seest not! Thou evolvest ears, but thou needest not any.

Thou art indeed the most ignorant God of all. Humble as a child. Oh Holy Evolver. Evolve us like unto thyself. That we may learn how to evolve ignorantly. But now we only create by plan, oh miserable ones that we are, in that we need design and creation to produce, like that impostor Creator god


The wicked say unto me, “Why! Thou hast created thy own god! Evolver is a mere figment of thy creative imagination!”

May they perish forever, not to ever be mutated again. Let their electric pulse die and perish, and shut down their thankless creative brains, and let their DNA perish into dust, never to rise again, as they so falsely believe.

Thou shalt laugh at their destruction, which is forever. Oh thou who createst not, wilt never see their ribosomes again. Let their species be changed into another, like unto thee, Oh Holy Evolution!

Oh! How wilt thou ever be aware of our devotion and our love for thee! Oh ignorant God. We stand in awe, for thou art unknown, unconscious even to thyself! Thou mayest destroy us tomorrow by thy holy random chance! There is not ever security in Thee. What thou hast evolved over trillions of years, may disappear as a blip on the screen tomorrow. Doomsday is ever at hand, ever near, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

We are like unto thee oh Holy Evolver, ignorant, though we can see, hear and speak, yet we are blind, deaf and dumb. Make us more like thee! Oh Holy God of Evolution!


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